By Bryan Brunati
The following list showcases ten people that should lend their services to the iconic comedy sketch show, and put themselves up to be Lorne Michael’s bitch for a week:
1) Leonardo DiCaprio: Some people refuse to accept the fact that he may have a funny bone in his body. While this Oscar nominated actor has blown us away in dramatic roles (The Departed, Blood Diamond, Revolutionary Road) it would be nice to see that he can hold his own on the comedic stage.
2) Ryan Gosling: He’s graced the sexual fantasies of millions of women and unlike DiCaprio he has shown us that he isn’t afraid to show us his comedy chops (Crazy Stupid Love). Plenty of vaginas would appreciate seeing Gosling on the SNL stage.
3) Nick Offerman: He’s Ron Fucking Swanson.
4) Michelle Williams: This lovely Oscar nominated actress has delivered time and time again with extraordinary dramatic performances (My Week with Marilyn, Blue Valentine) but some may forget that she has taken the comedy route before (Dick). I’m sure Lorne would welcome her with open arms. Plus, Jason Segel would be sure to make a cameo.
5) Aziz Ansari: Treat Yo’ Self, Aziz. Parks and Recreation has finally put this comedy talent on the map and one can only hope that he would bring his filthy stand up material with him as a host.
6) Robert Downey Jr.: It’s been 16 years since Downey Jr. hosted Saturday Night Live and that was when he was a drug-fueled douchebag. Sure, Downey Jr. is still kind of a douchebag but now he’s a lovable douchebag, the kind of douchebag that forces us to spend money on his superhero and detective roles. SNL needs a little dose of arrogance and who better than one of the biggest talented tools in the world?
7) Johnny Depp: Yes I, like you, was shocked to hear that Johnny Depp has never hosted SNL; the man is a chameleon for God sake! He literally carried what was supposed to be a modest hit, The Pirates of the Caribbean, and made it into a global phenomena. Fans would adore seeing Johnny and his best pal Tim Burton take over the SNL stage.
8) Jennifer Lawrence: She only stars in the biggest movie in the world right now. (Do I even need to list it here?) Aside from the fact that she is delightfully bizarre in interviews, Lawrence has an Oscar nominee label in her back pocket, a strong following, and a future filled with dollar signs. Lawrence is the hot relevant actress that Lorne would love to have on his lap – I mean – stage.
9) Brad Pitt: If he can find a way to escape his bundle of children for a few months filming a movie, then I’m sure Brad could find the time to make his fans happy and host SNL. Brad Pitt can clearly handle a comedic script and one would only expect him to thrive under the bright live lights of Saturday Night Live.
10) Will Arnett: Perhaps the most underrated pick on the list, Arnett has always been a talented comedic actor. Most known for his role as Gob on Arrested Development, Arnett has never really gotten over that “hump” like say, Seth Rogen or Jonah Hill. An appearance on SNL could help show people how funny he really is. You know Amy Poehler would be in his corner all night.
So there you have it, Lorne. Now quit getting people like January Jones and Charles Barkley to host and start getting people that audiences actually want to see grace your stage.