Monthly Archives: May 2012

Things That Made Us Cry (Happy Tears!) This Week

While you’re grilling in your backyard, hanging at the beach, or talking with strangers on the internet while stuffing your face with food, like I will be doing, check out some things that brought tears to our eyes this week.

1) The Official the Great Gatsby Trailer is Released:

Leonardo Dicaprio was born to play Jay Gatsby, and Carey Mulligan and Tobey Maguire seem to hold their own in Baz Lurhmann’s over the top version of the classic novel. There is glitz and glamor and Jack White belting out U2’s song “Love is Blindness.” To put it simply, this trailer is perfect.

2) Philip Philips Crowned American Idol Winner:

Dave Matthew’s son, I mean, Philip Philips was named the new American Idol winner, beating out sixteen year old, diva in the making, Jessica Sanchez. While there didn’t seem to be a huge celebration, compared to previous seasons, watching Philip breakdown while singing his catchy Mumford and Sons type song “Home,” was definitely a great moment.

3) Anchorman 2 Teaser Trailers:

The mere announcement that there was going to be an Anchorman 2, was enough to leave me in a puddle of my own pathetic fan boy tears. With the teaser trailer released this week, I may just drown.

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REDBOX GOLD FINDS: THE DEAD UNDEAD – VAMPIRES VS. ZOMBIES

You, like me, have probably wondered what would happen if we were overrun by psychotic zombies, and our only hope were a group of vampires who were actually pretty good people. Well, quit your wondering! Because in this installment of Redbox Gold Finds, a glorious film shows us exactly what would transipire.

THE DEAD UNDEAD: VAMPIRES VS. ZOMBIES.

There are just too many wonderful things in this trailer. The fantastic acting, the overload of guns being shot, not to mention the amazing movements from the zombies, who look like they have been trained to star in “Zombie: The Musical.” I mean, look how graceful their movie are.

Personally, my favorite part of the trailer has to be when the vampire army group steps out of the van and Breaking Benjamin’s “Blow me Away” kicks in; because every vampire wielding a machine gun, and killing musically trained zombies, needs a good rock song to really pump them up.

But, with the few lines in the trailer, one just takes the cake: “Great, psychotic vampires that are impossible to kill.” “Not impossible…….(pause)…….(more pause)……..(you know something good is going to be said)…….difficult.” Just think of it as Jason Bourne being bitten by a vampire and is now kicking ass…dead ass…whatever that means.

I think it is pretty fair to say that this piece of B-flick art is GOLD approved.

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Live from New York…The Top Ten People that Should Host Saturday Night Live

By Bryan Brunati

The following list showcases ten people that should lend their services to the iconic comedy sketch show, and put themselves up to be Lorne Michael’s bitch for a week:


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1)  Leonardo DiCaprio: Some people refuse to accept the fact that he may have a funny bone in his body.  While this Oscar nominated actor has blown us away in dramatic roles (The Departed, Blood Diamond, Revolutionary Road) it would be nice to see that he can hold his own on the comedic stage.

2)  Ryan Gosling: He’s graced the sexual fantasies of millions of women and unlike DiCaprio he has shown us that he isn’t afraid to show us his comedy chops (Crazy Stupid Love). Plenty of vaginas would appreciate seeing Gosling on the SNL stage.

3)  Nick Offerman: He’s Ron Fucking Swanson.

4)  Michelle Williams: This lovely Oscar nominated actress has delivered time and time again with extraordinary dramatic performances (My Week with Marilyn, Blue Valentine) but some may forget that she has taken the comedy route before (Dick).  I’m sure Lorne would welcome her with open arms. Plus, Jason Segel would be sure to make a cameo.

5)  Aziz Ansari: Treat Yo’ Self, Aziz. Parks and Recreation has finally put this comedy talent on the map and one can only hope that he would bring his filthy stand up material with him as a host.

6)  Robert Downey Jr.: It’s been 16 years since Downey Jr. hosted Saturday Night Live and that was when he was a drug-fueled douchebag. Sure, Downey Jr. is still kind of a douchebag but now he’s a lovable douchebag, the kind of douchebag that forces us to spend money on his superhero and detective roles. SNL needs a little dose of arrogance and who better than one of the biggest talented tools in the world?

7)  Johnny Depp: Yes I, like you, was shocked to hear that Johnny Depp has never hosted SNL; the man is a chameleon for God sake! He literally carried what was supposed to be a modest hit, The Pirates of the Caribbean, and made it into a global phenomena. Fans would adore seeing Johnny and his best pal Tim Burton take over the SNL stage.

8)  Jennifer Lawrence: She only stars in the biggest movie in the world right now. (Do I even need to list it here?) Aside from the fact that she is delightfully bizarre in interviews, Lawrence has an Oscar nominee label in her back pocket, a strong following, and a future filled with dollar signs. Lawrence is the hot relevant actress that Lorne would love to have on his lap – I mean – stage.

9)  Brad Pitt: If he can find a way to escape his bundle of children for a few months filming a movie, then I’m sure Brad could find the time to make his fans happy and host SNL. Brad Pitt can clearly handle a comedic script and one would only expect him to thrive under the bright live lights of Saturday Night Live.

10)  Will Arnett: Perhaps the most underrated pick on the list, Arnett has always been a talented comedic actor. Most known for his role as Gob on Arrested Development, Arnett has never really gotten over that “hump” like say, Seth Rogen or Jonah Hill. An appearance on SNL could help show people how funny he really is. You know Amy Poehler would be in his corner all night.

So there you have it, Lorne. Now quit getting people like January Jones and Charles Barkley to host and start getting people that audiences actually want to see grace your stage.

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