Now that the Olympics are winding down, and your two week patriotism is wearing off soon, I think it’s time we all head back to the movies. Here are your movie picks for the weekend and what they say about you.
The Bourne Legacy: Looks like Matt Damon really only needed three films to finally learn who the hell he really was. Now that that’s all taken care of, Jeremy Renner is the new man who has no clue what the hell is going on; in fact, he’s so confused, that he decides to kick everyone’s ass until he learns his true identity.
What it Says About You: You like being the loud one at movies. You always make sure to look at your girlfriend during action scenes to make sure she’s enjoying it as much as you are. You like reciting memorable lines from the film as you’re walking out of the theater; you say them loud enough so that others may hear and hopefully be impressed by your delivery. No, you’re sill not cool, but you appreciate the fact that you can live through cooler characters on film. You love action movies, but you also like your action movies to have some extended scenes of dialogue so that you may tell others that you only watch “intelligent films.”
The Campaign: In a few months, you will have to decide between two hopefuls, and yes, I am talking about American Idol. But, I am also talking about the Presidential election. Until then though, we can just see Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis take jabs at each other for an hour and a half.
What it Says About You:You are indecisive, but hopeful. You like giving people the benefit of the doubt because of what they’ve accomplished in their past. You’re pulling for Will to make you laugh again, and you’re hoping that Zach is more than just the funny fat guy from the Hangover. You watch a lot of Saturday Night Live, mostly the cold openings, so you’ve decided that you know everything about politics. You will never get over Will’s impersonation of George Bush, and you always feel disappointed when he doesn’t do it in any interview.
Hope Springs: A few talented, old actors get together and exchange witty quips with each other. This movie would go well with a cup of tea and some unsalted crackers.
What it Says About You: You have no idea how to use an iPhone. Your Sundays are not complete without a stop at IHOP for some pancakes, after Church of course. Waking up at 7:30am is sleeping in for you. Going to bed at 11:00pm is letting loose for you because it was your birthday. You know where the escalators and bathrooms are at Macy’s. Nothing makes you smile more than a new pair of pleated pants. You don’t understand the strong hate that Crocs receive, as you don’t see a problem choosing being comfortable over being stylish.
But hey now, no one is handing out any medals for this one, so go out and enjoy your movies!